Shiny, happy people...

I saw a reel the other day about achieving in life. It went along the lines of ….Don’t tell everyone you bought a block of land and you are going to build the house, just build the house. Don’t tell everyone you are studying courses to enhance your learning, just study it and apply it to your life. Don’t tell everyone you are applying for a job…just tell everyone when you get the job.

I kind of liked it. It made sense to me. To me it means…..just do it. Don’t talk about it…do it. It’s nice and humble. Society loves humble.

It screams self belief, self worth. A kind of self assurance that the world doesn’t need to know my plans to validate them…I can choose to do things the way I want and the way it works for me.

On the other hand, I see so many people, including myself, who play small. We play small to keep others happy, to not stand out, to not look too confident about ourselves, to not appear smug. And that’s kind of sad.

Do we live in a society that says we should all be on the same level in life? We shouldn’t be proud of who we are and what we’ve achieved?

Now the interesting thing is, while I tend to play small myself, I toot the trumpet loud and proud when it comes to other people’s skills and achievements. I celebrate the quirkiness of individuals, I celebrate the achievements of those who set goals and meet them. I celebrate and applaud loudly when those around me work hard and reap the results. I absolutely love people succeeding.

You’re heading overseas for a four week trip throughout Europe? Amazing! I want to hear all about it!

You’ve built your dream home? Amazing! I can’t wait to see it!

You’ve started up a business? Amazing! How can I support you?

I see the same with fashion, and I was chatting to a gorgeous lady yesterday about this.

I complemented her on her outfit and I told her I absolutely loved her style. I see her often and always love how she puts her outfits together. Effortlessly stylish.

We chatted about how we both see, or own, items that we probably wouldn’t wear while out and about in our regional town, but could totally get away with wearing them in Melbourne or Sydney.

Now at this point, I asked her why we think that and we worked out its because we would feel like we were trying too hard, or would be judged for wearing something we loved, but didn’t deem “appropriate” for our town.

We play small….to make ourselves blend in.

I’m 52 years old. She is around 10 years older than me.

WHAT THE????

I’ve said many times that turning 50 was truly amazing. I stopped caring what others thought and found a sense of self assurance that I have never felt before. And yet, I still think about what others think!

Can we please stop doing this?

Can we please be happy with who we are, what we love, how we love to dress?

If we told someone they looked like they rolled out of bed and threw on the first crumpled up item of clothing they found on the floor, that person would be insulted and upset. And yet we we seem to cast judgement on someone who makes confident statements with their clothes…bold colours, quirky pieces, bespoke outfits that have been carefully curated to suit that person’s personality or mood for the day.

We play small so as not to stand out.

So…..we’ve decided to be the change. We are not going to just talk about it. We are going to live it.

We are going to wear what we love, regardless of what others might think. We are going to make the effort to put together things we feel amazing in, regardless of where we are going on that day. Imagine if we all did that?

A funky blazer to the footy on a Saturday? DO IT!

A gorgeous satin skirt to the pub for tea on a weeknight? DO IT!

A sequin top to breakfast on a Friday morning? I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE IT!!

In a few weeks I’m going to do a wardrobe audit for one of the most beautiful character’s I know. She’s been sending me photos of her in outfits she may not normally think of putting together, based on some pictures I’ve put up lately and she is so happy with how confident and cool she feels in those outfits. Not outfits I’ve picked…outfits she’s picked herself. I love that she feels so good about herself and can step out to events, or just to do the groceries, feeling so great about herself. That’s what I love about clothes…the way they can make you feel. The way you feel when you know you look great.

So let’s make a real effort to tell someone when you think they look amazing. Instead of thinking “Who does she think she is?” let’s spin it around and compliment them on their style.

Let’s be the change for making people feel seen, feel accepted, feel great. Not only will they feel great having someone notice, but you will feel amazing for passing on some joy.

And if you see someone in a sequin top in a local cafe on a Friday morning having a coffee, stop and tell her she looks amazing.

Sequins have a secret superpower….they make everyone shine brighter.

Love,

Cherie with a C.