Happily ever after....
Oh hey!
I know, I know….its been two weeks since my last blog. But I wasn’t feeling well. Sore throat, sore head, sore everything. That doesn’t happen often but when it does…BOOM! Down I go.
I’m sure you all coped without my little rant for the week! But I’m back for another one so grab a wine, a cup of tea or your protein shake and sit for a few minutes to read.
Now, this blog was pre-written….due to the fact that when I get together with this beautiful family, wine is served in abundance! So I’m prepared! Here goes….
Remember the Hen’s weekend I went on a few weeks ago? Well I decided that I’d better create something early because THE WEDDING IS TOMORROW!!! Yep, tomorrow I get to see a beautiful couple say “I do” in front of all their favourite people (me included).
Hubby’s suit purchased (good story for another day) and my frock is ready to be thrown on. Accommodation sorted. Well…we are pretty sure accommodation is sorted. We booked it as soon as we got the invitation seeing as the wedding is in a small country town and had to ring every motel in said small country town because we couldn’t remember which one we booked! Doh! But hubby figured it out.
So everything is organised but I hadn’t bought a wedding card. So off I went to the card shop this arvo. Now, at the card shop I read through various wedding cards to choose one that tickled my fancy…and I found one. It’s nice. Encouraging, lovely, poetic, gushy, romantic. And it got me thinking……marriage isn’t all that. Sometimes it’s exactly like a wedding card suggests. But is it? I mean it’s bloody hard work! Every marriage is bloody hard work. I looked around for a card that said something along the lines of “ Well, you two have chosen to get hitched. That’s wonderful. But buckle up because you are in for the ride of your life!” (Not necessarily in the good sense!)
Alas….no such wedding cards exist. Now, hubby and I have been married for 25 years this October. OMG…25 years. 25, at times, tumultuous years. We’ve had some great times. But it wasn’t all champagne and roses. There were so many times when we both thought it was just too hard. We packed his suitcase on many occasions, ready to call it quits. For many years I wondered if this was it. Was this really my life now? This constant battle to survive each day with a smile on my face and my sanity intact was sometimes just too much to bear. Many times I wondered what happened to the marriage described in the wedding cards? Did we get shafted?!
But each time we packed his bag, something stopped us. We knew things weren’t perfect. But we persevered. We pushed aside the crap and kept digging for gold. There was a lot of crap. But in the end…there’s a lot more gold.
There is so much more to a marriage than who takes out the bin, and who packs the dishwasher. I may have been naive when I got married, but you know what I’ve learnt? Marriage is about trusting your partner with your life. It’s about compromising. It’s about letting go of the need for control. It’s about forgiving. It’s about being there for each other, regardless of how terrible your day was. It’s about learning how to fulfil the needs of your partner without compromising your own needs. Marriage is about accepting the good with the bad. Its about dealing with the toilet seat being left up, and dealing with the pre-menstrual and post-menstrual hormones! Throw three kids, a mortgage and bills in and it really is hard work!
But it’s also about coming together to achieve some common goals. If you choose to have a family its about raising children to be lovely, self sufficient human beings. It’s raw and real.
I get that not all marriages survive. Sometimes it really is too much. I get it because that was nearly ours. But we chose for it not to be. We chose to dig for the gold and in doing so we have come out with smiles on our faces, memories to treasure and no worries about child support. And we found that not only do we love each other, but we LIKE each other…such an important thing in a marriage or relationship. This isn’t everyone’s story….but it’s ours.
So, to the beautiful bride and groom to be…..BUCKLE UP KIDS, and enjoy the ride!!! And always remember to dig for gold because once you find your true love, the gold is always there to be found. Xxx
I’m off to cover my face in a mask and get some beauty sleep in preparation for the big day……
Can’t wait to tell you all about it next week!!
Love,
Cherie with a C.
Xxx