Home alone...

Oh hey!

How has your week been so far?

Mine has been super busy. Work was slightly hectic and by the time I arrived home each night I felt like I literally had nothing more to give. I even bought wine! I very rarely drink wine on a week night. It’s a rare occasion. But after a particularly hard day at work, wine was what I felt I needed. Unfortunately after half a glass I realized that it wasn’t wine I needed…..it was just an early night! And a holiday to a secluded beach. And a massage. And a bath. But an early night did the job.

And it was Valentine’s Day! Yes it’s a marketers delight. And florists! And restaurants! But we use it as a great excuse to spend time together, have a dinner date. Keeping the love alive and all that!

Before we knew it, it was Friday. The week flew by! I was reminded by my sister that at that time last Friday we were picking up our new car and heading to her house for some quality sister time. Sister time that I cherish. We ate, we drank, we drove, we swore (a lot!) we laughed like crazy women. I love her, and love spending time with her. I was reminded of just how special that bond is on Valentine’s night.

We ran into a gorgeous couple who were also out for dinner. I knew that gorgeous lady had recently lost her precious sister and I wanted to pass on our condolences. She told me they were extremely close and often spoke to each other up to three times a day, even calling each other to discuss what they were making for dinner. Her loss was immense and her grief was obvious. Oh how she was missing her sister. It got me thinking of how lucky we both have been. All those years of laughing together, crying together, confiding in each other and arguing together. I can’t imagine how she is feeling with that loss and I want her to know I am thinking of her. Always happy to catch up for a glass of …well whatever, if ever you need a chat. Cherish those beautiful memories. Much love to you. x

And now it’s Sunday and guess what! I’m home alone! Yep…alone! That never happens! I don’t get that opportunity very often but it’s about time I get to know how to enjoy my own company!

Hubby is in Melbourne, kids are at their various places to be on a Sunday! What to do?

The funny thing is…I enjoy being on my own! Shock horror! Can a mother say that? Should I be feeling guilty that I enjoy being by myself? Hell no! I mean, when the kids were little they always came first and “me time” was unheard of. But as they get older surely it’s ok to say “Whoa there…..I need time out!” So I gave myself time out. Dinner is prepared, lunch products purchased so what to do with this time out?

I went for a drive to one of my favourite shops. The plan was to just browse, but a face mask beckoned, telling me some pamper time was a great “me time” activity. So face mask purchased! I browsed, read about products, and wandered around the aisles marvelling at the things they sell. Scott likes to just walk into a shop, get what he needs, and walk out. But me, I like to dawdle and take my time. Time was with me today….and no one else was!

I never used to enjoy my own company….which is pretty sad really. I guess I felt worthless and and I never really thought anyone else actually enjoyed my company…so how could I? I rarely contacted people to catch up, just in case I inconvenienced them. I never made that first move. It was truely one of my insecurities. But that’s changing. I’m actually learning to like myself, like my own company. I’m learning to trust that I do the right thing by me. Some retail therapy, a good book, a nap. Whatever it is I feel like doing, I can do! With no one questioning my motives. It’s kind of nice every now and again…and kind of liberating!

Now don’t get me wrong……I love spending time with my kids and husband! I love weekends when we make up plans as we go, choose our own adventures! And I have some amazing friends who I know love me as much as I love them. I had a long lunch on Saturday with one of my favourite people yesterday…long lunches are our specialty! We used to work together and now get together as often as we can for our long lunches. What a blessing it is to have a friend like that! We can, and do, talk about ANYTHING and know that the other one is not judging, not questioning, just empathising (or laughing)!

Never have I felt that I have inconvenienced her by asking her to catch up. I don’t hesitate to send her a Smiley face emoji and a champagne bottle emoji. And every time we leave each other I am overflowing with love and gratitude for her. Blessed.

I’m also learning that I am also worthy. I’m learning that I’m a great friend, a great wife, great mum. Not perfect, but I don’t have to be perfect…..right? I’m perfectly imperfect and that’s ok. I’m learning that people value me, they value my friendship, they value my company.

And nothing makes me happier than to feel valued…….and to pass that feeling on to others.

Have a great week, and hug those you love the most a little tighter. You never know what tomorrow brings.

Love,

Cherie with a C.

xxx