Hot and hormonal....
Ahhh…it’s been an interesting week. And by interesting, I kind of mean…..well crap. It’s been a pretty crappy week. You know what I’m talking about, right? The kind of week where your water spills all over the back set of the car on the way to work. The kind of week when you finish your secret stash of chocolate. The kind of week where you get to work to find a ripped open bag of rubbish all over an area that people will see. DOH! That was a double-glove job and it kind of set the tone for my mood.
I struggled with a few things this week and I’m not really sure why. Can I blame the heat? I mean, we’ve had 40 degree plus days all week. I’m a winter girl….so 40 degree days and I do not get along well. Could it be hormones? Can I get away with blaming a pretty shitty attitude on hormones, combined with heat? Heat and hormones. Surely a combustible combination?
Whatever the cause I’ve definitely not been a delight this week. My positive little vibe kind of disappeared in a puff of negativity. The slightest off hand comment by someone around me set me off in a downward spin of crappy energy. Something I hadn’t felt for a while. And I could hear myself saying some pretty terrible things. I could hear myself saying them, while at the same time telling myself to calm the flock down. Nothing was flowing nicely, everyone annoyed me…I felt like crawling into bed and staying there for a few days.
One night I decided to give my family a break and announced at 8.30pm that I’d had enough of the day, and I was going to bed. I’m pretty sure they gave me standing ovation and high fived each other as I exited the family room. They had had enough of me. Fair enough…I’d had enough of me too!
My can-do/smashing life attitude had a little melt down. I found that little voice in my head going back into default mode….the voice that loves me thinking that I’m hopeless, worthless and not deserving of anything good in my life. That default mode sucks! But it can be loud and commanding. And for a couple of days I listened to it. In fact, I not only listened to it, but I believed it. I believed it when it told me I’d never reach my goals. I believed it! And it put me in a pretty foul mood which made life unpleasant for all around me. Well, not all around me. I can go to work and leave my shitty mood at the door. But it’s always the ones you love the most who cop it. My lovely husband knew I was feeling a little flat so he went all out on cooking a beautiful dinner for us that would suit my brand new (compulsory) gluten-free lifestyle. He chopped, he peeled, he stirred. And he came up with a lovely butter chicken dish, made from scratch. Now don’t get me wrong…I appreciated it. But the little voice in my head didn’t and managed to ask, in between huge sips of water, what possessed him to make THE spiciest butter chicken we have ever tasted on a 43 degree day! Possibly not the right time to ask that! He got 10 out of 10 for effort but that little voice was being a bitch. Sorry babe…..
I really wasn’t sure how to drag my butt out of that mood and drag it back into the FLOCK IT mood!
Well you know what happened? I got a text message. It was a message from the local bookshop telling me that the little motivational cards I’d ordered had arrived. The cards for my inspiration board and for my gratitude board. So when I got the message that they were ready to be collected I was reminded of inspiration and gratitude. Gratitude. Gratitude. Gratitude.
That message arrived the same day news broke that a former Shepparton woman who had been missing in WA, had been found deceased. She was 36 and although I didn’t know her, she was well known and well loved around the region. This woman would never again hold her beautiful girls, they would never again hear her laugh, or hear her tell them how much she loved them. She will never have another celebration with her family, never get to catch up for coffee with her favourite people. The news also broke that a 21 year old international student had been brutally murdered…her life taken in an instant. Tragic.
And I was whinging about butter chicken being too spicy.
Huge moment for me. I’m almost embarrassed to be writing this. I’m disappointed that I flicked the switch back to default mode. I’m disappointed that I left it in that mode for a few days. I’m disappointed that my attitude sucked. But its been a learning curve. Life isn’t all sparkles and glitter and we all get reminded of that every now and again. We just have to remember to be grateful for the little things….a phone call from a loved one, a meal with your kids, a coffee with your partner, a thank-you from a colleague, a cuddle with a new baby, a night out with friends, a brunch with your sister. Simple things that make up our life.
May we all remember to treasure those we love and be grateful for every day and may we have the strength to tell that bitchy, hormonal, whinging little voice in our head to just FLOCK OFF.
Have a great week.
Love ,
Cherie with a C
Xxx